|image from estasketch|
I've really been trying to keep perspective...perspective, perspective, perspective.
Here is an interesting story. One day, before our wedding, a mutual friend of ours was talking with Brett. I've always had a mixed relationship with this person - sometimes they are great to be around, sometimes they make me feel like an idiot. So, friend is talking with Brett and says, "No, I've never had anything against Jenna. Sometimes she can just be intimidating."
When Brett told this to me the next day, that line is where I stopped dead and couldn't move for a few minutes. Me? Intimidating? I don't think I would use that word to describe myself EVER. I think I'm the biggest pansy with so many insecurities that I couldn't intimidate a baby! But here this person is using that word to describe me. It blew my mind, and I couldn't stop thinking about it for days.
Wanna know the best part of this story? The person describing me as "intimidating"? Yeah, that is a person that I would describe as intimidating. Irony. We haz it.
Now, I've come across this a few other times in life where what someone thinks of me totally clashes with my version of myself or what I think of someone else seems to be the opposite of what they see in themselves. Once, someone called me arrogant because I didn't talk to them much. Again, my brian was saying, "WTF!? Here I am being shy and quiet and you think I'm arrogant!?"
How can my version of myself be so far off from what others see? Which one is true? Which one matters more? How do I reconcile the two? Is this real life!? Is this going to be forever?
In the end, I have no idea, but it helps to keep perspective in mind. To know that what I'm feeling may not come off that way to other people...so I have to be mindful of the vibes I put out. Because my shy, quiet, introverted personality has been interpreted as both arrogant and intimidating at different times.
Have you ever experienced this? How do you keep perspective?