Most of this is my fault. I've never pushed myself to excel and then, when I try something and it doesn't go magnificently, I'm very harsh on myself. Don't we all wish to have that secret talent just waiting to explode out in all its glory? To be able to stand out in something?
This spans both personally and professionally. I feel like I'm behind where I should be. Of course, that begs the question where should I be? And I don't know. I've been trying to set goals for myself, find a direction I want to go, but I'm not sure where it is that I'd like to be.
This all leads me to feel like I'm having a quarter life crisis.
|Me and you both, buddy!|
Identity, career, friends, being an adult - its all bearing down on me! And I'm totally lost as to what I should be doing. I played the game and did ok, but now I feel like the game has let me down or has suddenly changed the rules without warning.
I think this is a common feeling among people my age. We were told about all these possibilities in life, how we could be anything we wanted to be. We played the game put in front of us - did that whole college thing, graduated and.... and then what?; Some of us got jobs. Some of these jobs were in our hopeful field while some were not. And now we are all feeling a bit of 'now what' syndrome. Is this what adulthood is? I'm pretty sure I was expecting something else and something more.
NPR has had a series (but I guess that's the only one I could find...) discussing these topics - all of which help me feel that I am not alone. Also, I've seen lots of talk around blogland that confirms we are not alone. No matter how down I get, that is a very key and very helpful thing to remember - it is normal.
Sorry to be a downer today with no music mix and instead just sharing my midlife crisis. But it is what it is and that's what you are getting, capish? Capish.
Oh, and happy friday!